struggles

Positive thinking: It is panacea of any problem. It reduces tension, keeps your inspired, health gets improved, makes one happy, problems gets solved, what else is required? – So why not to develop positive thinking/attitude.

yes i do firmly believe in the above, but why is it so that until now i refuse to believe the above is achievable and for those who think that they have achieved it, i still doubt that all they achieved is a deceit to their minds

regardless the state of your life, be it a favourable or less fortunate one, i believe it's full of struggles for everyone due to a part of our human's nature, which is to always look hard at what is lacking and empty in our lives. this tendency towards pessimism either results in one conscientiously striving to improve what he thinks is lacking of him or finding new things to fill the voids he thinks he has in him, or the other many felt they will not end up as but unknowingly, too many of us(myself included) engaged ourselves in this vicious cycle of self-reflecting in a bad way(brainf***ing in army terms).

we just could not enter a state of peace and contentment although there will be moments you thought that you have already gotten over things or found solutions for them. the next day, the cycle repeats with the episode of yesterday still playing in your mind or you have garnered a new set of problems about what is so bad about you.

let me share a particular internal struggle that bogged me down the whole of this week. I was given an instructional role in my unit while the rest of my coursemates were all posted back to the operational battalion where we trained at for the past few months. my job was meant to be an envy for my coursemates cause it's stayout and yes admittedly, it's a zou-bo job during lull periods. yet all these various plus-points about this posting still did not prevent me from thinking on the bad side of things.
challenge1: how can I operate by myself without my sispec buddies whom accompanied me through the tough times back then, five months ago and then the fun times for the past three months
challenge2: having nothing to do when you're free outside is much more painful to withstand compared to having loads of sai-gang and completing it with a garang party you enjoyed working with, for that how i wished i was at battalion now with them
challenge3: having free time all day and not having psp and mp3 by my side
challenge4: unable to maintain my fitness without all those physical trainings
challenge5: not able to...
as i was dreaming about all these in my nap, one of my buddies (jack ass) called. before i listened to his contents, i could tell he had a tinge of disappointment in his tone and then the news broke out that not everyone in the team was staying together(fortunately it was not all bad news as they have 4 days off) while i sympathised with the situation, how i wish i had an outlet to vent out all the internal struggles. then another of the group (hercules) texted to say it's pretty sad cause we're all on our own now.

the saying of " the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence" henceforth, does not always apply and the fundamentals of it nowadays came from the desires of modern people actively seeking a "complete" life, many a time too obsessively, which made them self-reflect to self-doubt and the next step of either self-improve or self-reproach depends heavily on individuals.

the greats break out of the vicious cycle while for the majority of us, the struggles in life and our minds continue.